Hah!

This is highly amusing and I am sure that one for Bush would be just as funny.

RESUME OF JOHN F. KERRY
   
  RESIDENCE:
  
  7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions
  
  
  EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
  
  Law Enforcement:
  
  I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my
  career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant
  in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the
  event of fire.
  
  Military:
  
  I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the
  military and service in Vietnam. I then returned to the US, joined
  Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam
  vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I
  threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I?
  
  My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier" shows
  how I truly feel about the military.
  
  College:
  
  I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
  counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
  admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
  
  PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
  
  I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no
  real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ
  Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
  
  ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS US Senator:
  
  I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even
  Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to
  support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus
  gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted
  for the Iraq War,
  
  now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.
  
  I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to
  help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am
  elected.
  
  My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that
  he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable
  contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess
  taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million.
  
  Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
  Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard
  as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
  
  RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
  
  None.
  
  PERSONAL
  
  I ride a Serotta Bike.
  
  My Gulfstream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel"
  
  I call my $ 850,000 42 foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the
  "Scarmouche"
  
  I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and you had better listen to it
  as it reflects our real culture.
  
  I own several SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer
  mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles
  and blame George Bush for the energy problems.
  
  PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.