Men fought and died in 1776 so that your children would not be subjected to cricket! We fought so we would be free of those wretched fried tomatoes that the English have for breakfast!
So that we would be free of Corgis, those ugly little rodent-like dogs that are favored by Queen Elizabeth.
The English even wrote a musical about it, it's called Corgi and Bess.
It's a terrible musical, like most English musicals......Andrew Lloyd Webber - the Walmart of musicals!
The only great English musical was written by Americans and that's My Fair Lady, but nevermind!
People think of the English as civilized but that's because they never attended an English soccer match!
Enormous red-faced men bellowing and throwing up on each other...that's what that's about.
When was the last time you had 30 people trampled to death at a baseball game?
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