Moving

******ALERT******
I've just come up with a new word - a combination of "mental" and "emotional" - menotional. It is used in the following post. :)

It is so interesting to look back a few years in one's life and think "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED!!!!"

You think about things and you're shocked that they happened.
You're shocked that it happened to YOU.
You're amazed that no one and nothing stopped it from happening.
Not that it was something specific, like stealing a car or something LOL but just a situation in general.

It's funny how you can become so wrapped up in a person.
You see them everywhere you go.
You see a tree and think of them.
You hear a word or a phrase and think of them.
You hear their name and it's like a punch to the chest.
And it lasts for a long time.
You want it to end, but you can't MAKE it end.
You try and try and try.
But you can't make it happen.

So, what makes us tick?
What makes one person more appealing than another?
What is so fantastic about that person that makes you do such crazy things and become so absorbed in them?
It isn't because they scaled Mt.Everest or gave everything they had to starving children in Sudan. They are usually just Average Joe's.
What is it?
What makes a nice baked potato so great?
A potato is a fairly common thing.
You think about it the next day or the next week and you realize that it was just a potato.
Was the potato great just because you were hungry?
Is that Average Joe so great to you just because of timing?

I think because this world basically will take everything off in more than ways than one, we have forgotten how two people can forge a mental & emotional relationship when there is no physical relationship between them. Certainly the physical would have just compounded the menotional, but sometimes that menotional relationship has effects that hang around much longer than physical ones would.

You see the person years later and they still look at you the same way.
It's very strange to have a person look at you with something in their eyes that can only be compared to Hope. It's scary and humbling and flattering all at the same time.
To know that you symbolize Goodness itself to a person, a person with whom you will never share your life, a person that you may in fact never see again.
And that doesn't bother you. Years before, it crushed you. It took away the sunshine and warm summer days. It made life dark and lonely.
You can talk about them and think about them without those piercing bolts of lightning attacking your heart.
And it had to happen on its own.