Not in Kansas anymore...

I'm here!
The flight from SF to London was long and uncomfortable. Those seats have no lower back support and it is just unpleasant for me. I only managed to get about 2ish hours sleeptime. But the flight crew was so nice and they serve a lovely cup of tea! I had a short layover at Heathrow, which is massive. I couldn't get the public wifi to work, so I just gave up. I used a whole package of Kleenex on the flight, so I stopped at my old friend Boot's and got some cold medicine. Apparently, you can't find cold med that doesn't have a dose of caffeine in it. Silly Brits.

The seats on the smaller plane from London to Istanbul were much more comfortable and I was able to sleep a little more. There was an adorable little two year old across the aisle from me. His dad was so cute, so attentive to him and and kept shooshing him in a mixture of French and English.
I arrived around 10:30 and went through customs without any problem. I got my luggage and took a taxi to my cute little hotel. It's cute and clean, just typically small.
The time change has me all messed up, so I was only able to sleep for about 6 hours. I got up and wondered around the hotel and found the breakfast buffet down a couple of floors. Breakfast here is great, lots of foods that I enjoy. A typical breakfast here consists of bread, cheese, cucumber, tomato, yogurt (real yogurt, the semi-runny, tart kind), some form of cold meat (like cold cuts), olives, dried fruit and a couple of other things. They have this juice here that is so awesome, I think it's cherry pomegranate. It's so delicious.
The Davids were very thoughtful and got me a converter/adapter set. I didn't think to check it before I left and didn't find out until I arrived that it doesn't work with the plug on my laptop. This made feel a little worried, because the battery was low from me messing with it at Heathrow when I couldn't get the public wifi to work. I wasn't sure where to go and how to get there to buy the right converter. I am so glad I have my iPod touch, because I was able to use that for internet access.

I have been in contact with a few people here about renting a room and I had it set up to meet with a girl Saturday night. She told me what metro station to go to and when. So I had basically all day and I saw in the lobby of the hotel that there was a little brochure for the Turkuazoo, Turkey's only aquarium. I thought Well, that sounds fun. I do love me an aquarium. :)
I took a taxi and that was my first time seeing the city during the day. It has such personality. The landscape is kind of like San Francisco, just bigger and more spread out and older.
It turns out that the Turkuazoo is in an enormous mall called Forum Istanbul.
I stopped and Starbucks and had a snack. There's no place like home, right? :) The menu board is in English, which is a plus.
I guess I have become an aquarium snob. This one is not so fantastic. I think after visiting the most awesome one on the planet in Atlanta, anything else just cannot compare. But it was enjoyable and I had fun people watching.
It didn't take very long to go through it, so I poked around the mall for a while. I went into an electronics store like a Best Buy and found the correct converter for the laptop, another memory card for my camera and a USB charger for my iPod so I don't have to use the converter.
I went into a big store called Real, which is like a Super Walmart. I found a copy of Jane Eyre in Turkish. That totally made my day, as it is the one specific thing I wanted to get here. And it was only 2 lira!

It was Saturday so the mall was pretty crowded, especially the food court. They have a lot of American fast food places - McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, Popeye's, sbarro. There is a Mexican food shop that sells pizza and burgers. :)
Something scary happened as I was eating my piece of kibbeh. I was going to go down the escalator to the next floor, but I decided to stand at the railing next to it and eat quickly. I was standing there and suddenly people started screaming and a crush was forming on the escalator that was going down. It had malfunctioned right at the bottom and things and people were getting caught in it. They managed to get everyone off, but one lady was injured. Very scary. :(
I went back to my hotel and left that evening to meet with the girl about the room. I was very hopeful that out meeting would go well, as she is a student at Bogazici and seemed very nice. I waited for 40 minutes and she never showed. This was so frustrating to me. I was getting quite cold and the place I was at is kind of like a small version of Times Square. I got in a taxi after 40 minutes and came back to the hotel. I was disappointed. I emailed her and she never replied.
So, I took this in stride and emailed another girl who was on my list, Fatma. She also seemed very nice and we set up to meet at her flat on Sunday morning at 11.
I got up and got ready and stumped another taxi driver with trying to find the flat (they always seem to have a problem finding my little hole in the wall hotel). We finally found it and Fatma greeted me from an upper window. The buildings here can be five or six floors. She unlocked the door for me and I went up a couple of flights.

Fatma is a sweetie. She is Turkish and was raised in France. Her English is great, we had no problem understanding each other. She is very self-conscious about her accent and English, but I kept telling her that her skills are so good and the accent isn't a problem for me. We sat there and talked for two hours. I told her that I would not be offended if she decided that she did not want me to live in the flat after meeting with me. I said "This is YOUR home." She said that she had one other girl who was coming to look at it. But after we talked for a while, she basically said that she liked me and wanted me to stay and the other girl would just have to deal it. :)
She is a very interesting person, very smart. She has a law degree from France, but wants to live in Istanbul and so is studying Turkish law. She will work in the business/corporate area of international law.
The flat is very cute. It has two bedrooms and one living room, which are all a good size. The bathroom and kitchen are typically small, but that just makes everything within closer reach. :) My room has a twin bed, a wardrobe and a desk with a small chair. There are new wood floors that are nice and shiney.
Fatma lived in Istanbul previously as an exchange student and she explained to me why she chose this flat. It is in a neighborhood called Kurtulus (Ker-too-loosh) in the Sisli (chiz-lee) district. There are all variety of small shops and everything I will need. She took me out for a walk and guess what the closest metro station is???? Yes, the one where I waited for 40 minutes the previous night. :)
I couldn't believe it.
Fatma is very excited about me living there. She is very social and wanted someone who would be a friend and flatmate and wouldn't just stay in their room all the time. I am excited to polish up what little French I remember and she can also help me with learning some Turkish.

The time change is giving me some trouble. I can't sleep for more than 5 or 6 hours at a time. I woke up at 5:30am on Sunday morning and fell asleep at 7:30pm because I was tired, then woke up about an hour ago at 1 am. I hope this doesn't take too long to work itself out.

The traffic here can be awful and riding in a taxi is interesting. These guys are somewhat homicidal maniacs. :) They get so unbelievably close to other cars and people. When you get into the smaller neighborhoods with streets that seem about three feet wide, it gets even more interesting. When I was going to meet Fatma, the driver had to keep backing up because there wasn't room for another car to pass by him. But the cars here are all very small, so they zip around quickly.

Pre-registration and orientation are this week, but I haven't received any communication from the school about specifics, so I guess I will have to try to find that out for myself.

If anyone has any questions, just ask!

Oh, Fatma has two goldfish! :)

One more day!

My visa arrived on Monday morning!!!
I booked a hotel for the first two nights. I will go there and crash and try to look at a couple of rooms that weekend. I got an email from the buddy that is assigned to me from the university. She seems great and is already helping me with some things. Today I am doing laundry and getting my suitcase one day closer to being good to go.
Smith and I went to Sac and had dinner with Bethany and Stanley. The house is so nice and the kitchen is especially awesome. ;) We had Bethany's yummy taco salad for dinner.
It is a beautiful warm and breezy day here. It will probably be raining when I arrive in Istanbul, so I am glad for the sunshine.
This feels so weird, I don't think it will be real until I get on the plane!

Getting close!

So things are speeding along and I can't believe I leave in a week.
Well...I am scheduled to leave in a week. I don't have my visa yet, so we shall await the good will of the Turkish consulate in Los Angeles.
I am also still looking for an apartment. Things keep falling through. But I shall prevail!! :)

The party was last Saturday and it was great! Smith and Bethany did a terrific job. Thank you to everyone who helped and attended.

I keep thinking to myself "I can't believe I am doing this!" It's strange when things that you have thought about and imagined for so long begin to make their way into reality. It's like they are slowly becoming visible through a haze of fog and I am walking closer and closer to them.

Today I am going shopping to get some new shoes for the trip. I really don't like shoe shopping. I have such old lady feet, it just isn't an enjoyable activity.

Today's cool fact about Istanbul:
There are a bunch of Starbucks!!! :)

The "Hold" button in my brain

Trying to get through finals without thinking about Istanbul too much. I need to make a list of the things I have to do before I leave. This week I have to fill out the application for my visa and send it off. I am also trying to be more aware of the things I take for granted every day. I'm in my car so much and I think I might miss having the convenience of a car, even though the traffic in Istanbul can be so bad and public transportation is good. Which leads me to today's Cool Fact About Istanbul...

The main bus terminal in Istanbul, the Büyük Otogar, has over 160 ticket offices and gates, a Metro station, a mosque, a clinic, restaurants, a police station, shops and a hotel.

Noooooooo.....

Whose idea was this Istanbul thing????
I don't think I can leave the cat. I'm having separation anxiety.
I'm going to have to make a cd of him purring so that I can properly fall alseep while I'm on the other side of the world.
Maybe he'll have Cat Depression after I leave. He'll have to be put on Cat Prozac. Poor Percy.

Loooong day

Orientation was this morning. Had to get up before 6am. Yuck. Lots of info, paperwork, etc.
I can't really think about all of this until finals are over. Feeling overwhelmed. But I did get to talk with two students from Turkey and they were lovely.
Mom and I went shopping this evening and I found an awesome backpack and two smaller shoulder bags. Wilson's Leather at the outlets is having an amazing sale - 70% off the whole store!

Today's Cool Fact About Istanbul -
It has been the capitol of four empires: Roman, Byzantine, Latin and Ottoman

Orientation!

I have just set my alarm for 5:20am. As Mark Lowry would say, I didn't know that time came twice a day! I have to be at school for the Study Abroad Orientation at 8am. Isn't that evil?

Today's Cool Fact About Istanbul:
Agatha Christie wrote her famous novel "Murder on the Orient Express" at Pera Palas Hotel in Istanbul.

First "Cool Fact About Istanbul" Post!

Istanbul is the only city in the world that is on two continents! If this isn't cool to you, you probably shouldn't bother visiting this blog again. :)

Jumping back on the wagon

I decided to resurrect this blog for my adventure to Istanbul. Much more to come. :)

NLT 60th Anniversary

Some pics from the 60th Anniversary weekend at church... :)

Charlotte Bronte for President!

My girl Charlotte was brilliant.
Too bad she isn't here to run for President.

All of the following quotes are from the preface to the 2nd edition of Jane Eyre and from the text of the novel itself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Appearance should not be mistaken for truth; narrow human doctrines, that only tend to elate and magnify a few, should not be substituted for the world-redeeming creed of Christ. There is — I repeat it — a difference; and it is a good, and not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the line of separation between them. The world may not like to see these ideas dissevered, for it has been accustomed to blend them; finding it convenient to make external show pass for sterling worth — to let white-washed walls vouch for clean shrines. It may hate him who dares to scrutinise and expose — to rase the gilding, and show base metal under it — to penetrate the sepulchre, and reveal charnel relics: but hate as it will, it is indebted to him.

I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last.

Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.

A memory without blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure — an inexhaustible source of pure refreshment: is it not?

I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you--you'd forget me.

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.

Sunday Night With Kathey

This is probably not a good time for me to post, as it is after 11pm and I've had a loooooong day (had a HERD of kids in class this morning, yikes).
But then, I doubt anyone actually reads this blog, so I suppose my lack of usual charm and wit will not be noticed!

NOTE - There will be random pictures throughout this post. :)



I called the professor who hadn't (or so it seemed) posted a grade for me, the grade that is holding up my official graduation. That's being worked out. I hope they don't make me go over there and fill out the grad app again. *sigh*



After much poking around the internet and deciding on specific days for our trip, I am happy to report that we are all set to go.
I can't believe it's been five years since I have been east.
I don't feel old enough to say that I haven't been somewhere in five years, at least five post-high school years.
I broke down and bought a camera. I've needed one for a while, but I am loathe to spend such a chunk of money on a Thing. I did get a great deal on it, so that was nice. Everyone will probably hate me after it arrives, because I'll be snapping away in the heights of New Thingness. When I got my first iPod, I was happy as a duck spotting a june bug and my grandmother said "You would think someone handed her the keys to a new Mercedes!" Obviously, my grandmother is sweet and doesn't realize that I am a nerd.



Right now it seems like almost everyone around me is getting married or having babies. Last Saturday I was with a group of my crazy friends (most of them at least 10 years older than me) and one of the married ones asked me how old I was and said "Don't get married yet." Wise woman.
Sometimes I think I am not the marrying kind.
I am way too fond of my own company.
I like being able to do what I want, when I want.
I like being able to call my aunt and plan a trip without having to consult someone else.
I like being able to go see my crazy friends on the weekend.
So I'm working on the idea of being married.
Children - that idea is floating around in another universe somewhere.
The cat is enough right now.


Sheesh, this is getting way to serious.
Let me try to think of something amusing...

Oh!
We had our annual birthday dinner for Dad and Pam.
My lamb was loooooovely.
Oh! That reminds me!
Reina and I

went to a fantastic new Middle Eastern joint over on California. Check it out. The owner, Jumana, is a character.
Mujadara, dolmas, hummus...mmmmm.....
I've got to get over this liking food thing at some point.



I went to my Favorite Place for lunch today.

I took several books because I was feeling indecisive. I ended up reading part of Jane.

I'm waiting for that book to come back into widespread academic study. This whole Austen rage has got to end at some point. Anyways, I sat there, grinning like a moron, because I was having musical flashbacks. Guess what I listened to on the drive home. :)
I forget how certain music can bring about such physical pleasure.
But I'll save that post for another night.

I bid thee good night!
(As a parting thought - isn't it hilarious how people quote the "flights of angels" line from Hamlet to wish people good night...CONTEXT, PEOPLE!!!!! Our pal Horatio was speaking to a DEAD man!! Okay, I'll stop. Night)

The Blog Craze and The 2008 Presidential Race

I've been thinking about this whole blog craze.
I started this blog years ago and my ethusiasm for it has certainly waned.
It begins as a new and exciting thing to do in your life and that eventually decreases in importance and interest.
I hardly wrote anything here when I was at SSU.
For those lazy majors like business *poke, poke, wink, wink*, I suppose keeping up with a blog is not an issue. For we crazy busy English majors, it's a bit more challenging. When you've got a paper due on Henry James' The Bostonians and you know Bob the Professor is going to make you prove that every single word in that paper is necessary and justified, writing a self-indulgent few hundred words in your little blog that 6 people read is not at the top of your priority list.

I have been amused lately by how absolutely film-esque a blog can be.
Bloggers are basically actors. They project an image of themselves.
I read blogs and think wow...this person really paints himself/herself as other than they truly are...
This led me to wonder what people think when they read my blog here or at Myspace.
Do they think I try to present myself as other than I truly am?

I do not take issue with people who highlight their strengths.
False modesty is repulsive to me.
If you do something well, be proud of it.
If you are aware of your faults, admit them.
I do not like people who cannot admit that they are wrong.
Why do we think that we have to be perfect?
I had a teacher who told us that the hardest three words to say are "I was wrong."
I don't ever want to be so stubborn that I cannot admit error and seek to correct it.
"The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection" -Goethe

I suppose this leads ironically into thoughts about the 2008 US Presidential Race. :)
Bonaparte wrote that in politics, one should never admit a mistake.
Politicians are also actors. They will do what they think is necessary to achieve their goal. If that means that they must say one thing to one group of people and then say the opposite to a different group of people, they will do it. To mangle a line from the astute Dogberry, we can suspect them by virtue of their office.
There is no such thing as a perfectly upright and moral candidate because those candidates are human and perfectly upright and moral humans do not exist.
Does this mean that we should not exercise our right to vote because there is no perfect candidate?
I do not think so.

I am so enjoying this campaign.
What a monumentous time in America's history!
A black man and a woman are on the tickets of two major parties.
I wish we could talk to people like John Adams and Abraham Lincoln about this.
The slogans/attacks/one-liners from both major parties have been amusing to me.
There is nothing like this type of campaign that makes people sharpen their knives.
Favorite quotes/slogans so far:

"Maybe the most dangerous threat of an Obama presidency is that he would continue to give madmen the benefit of the doubt." - Mike Huckabee

"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded." - John McCain

"We have an obligation and a responsibility to be investing in our students and our schools. We must make sure that people who have the grades, the desire and the will, but not the money, can still get the best education possible."
"Secularists are wrong when they ask believers to leave their religion at the door before entering into the public square. Frederick Douglas, Abraham Lincoln, Williams Jennings Bryant, Dorothy Day, Martin Luther King - indeed, the majority of great reformers in American history - were not only motivated by faith, but repeatedly used religious language to argue for their cause. So to say that men and women should not inject their "personal morality" into public policy debates is a practical absurdity. Our law is by definition a codification of morality, much of it grounded in the Judeo-Christian tradition."
- Barack Obama

And the cherry on the top of the sundae:
"Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than Sarah Palin's gun."

Can I just say....OUCH.

A little gossip, a little chat...

I'm not sure why, but I periodically have little bits of Man Of La Mancha flying around in my head. The one that shows up the most frequently is the subject line of this post.
So, don't get your hopes up, you won't read any gossip here, only this and that about my fabulously exciting life.
:)

I'm glad the weather has cooled down.
100+ - that's just excessive.
It's a lovely 73 right now on a clear Saturday evening.
Wouldn't you know that this particular week, our ac at work was on the fritz.
How typical.
We were roasting and even Monica was hot, which makes me consider that pigs may really be able to fly.

Lissa and I are planning a trip to the other coast to see friends and hang out in a NYC for a while. Aside from catching something at the Met and seeing Tale a couple of times, I don't really have any Must See's on the list. I would like to do all the touristy things that I've never done. I realized it's just wrong that as many times as I've been there, I've never seen the Statue of Liberty. Surely that makes me some kind of bad American. ;)
Oh, I do want to go to the Cloisters. I figure I owe it to myself after being an RA for a medievalist.

My nemesis has returned this fall at work.....those blasted sour gummy vampire bats from Jelly Belly.
They are so magnificent. They're just as great as I remember them.
Oh, how they tempt me!!
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is sooooo weak.

Sign up!

adoptaussoldier.org

This is awesome.
It is so easy to join.
Check it out.

Money Matters

This is my final from Bob's Austen class.
I was still ticked off at Mooneyham for calling Sense & Sensibility a "failure," so I had to write something that showed how great it really is.
Take that, Laura G. Mooneyham White!! (or whatever you are calling yourself these days)
My girl Jane Austen had her issues and may have needed an editor, but that particular claim of yours is ridiculous.

Money Matters
In the opening chapters of her first published novel, Jane Austen offers a social critique via a family critique of the fictional Dashwood family. Austen responds to the writing of Edmond Burke, Mary Wollenstencraft and Thomas Paine, all of whom were concerned with the social impact of issues of inheritance and family security. By beginning Sense & Sensibility with an extended history of the Dashwood family and the financial situation of the novel’s main characters, Mary Dashwood and her daughters, Austen displays her knowledge of the importance of family history and social history. Unlike Austen’s later novel Pride & Prejudice in which the entailment of an estate has not yet driven out the unfortunate dependants, the anxiety surrounding loss of financial security has been fully realized upon the opening of Sense & Sensibility.
Gene Ruoff writes in his article “Wills” that the peculiar darkness of Sense & Sensibility is starkly social in nature. The novels two main protagonists, Elinor and Marianne Dashwood, do not appear until Chapter III: money matters take up Chapters I and II. While both are “fictively excessive” in their descriptions of family history and finances, they are necessary to establish the social matrix in which Elinor and Marianne find themselves (349). Austen creates this social matrix by first responding to the work of Edmund Burke.
Edmund Burke’s Reflections on the Revolution in France, published in 1790, is cited by Ruoff as the origin of the “emergence of inheritance as a central subject of public political discourse” (353). Austen uses Burke’s idea of the intersection of family reproduction and social reproduction as the basis for Chapters I and II. Burke states that the perpetuation of property in families tends to the perpetuation of society itself (354). He assigns a responsibility to those who control the money matters in the family and assumes in them a benevolent disposition, for the “idea on inheritance” furnishes sure principles of conservation, transmission and improvement (354). Family virtue and civic virtue are thus inextricably tied together.
Austen interrogates the responsibility Burke presents through the figures of Elinor and Marianne’s half-brother John and his wife Fanny. John has given his promise to their father that he will do everything in his power to make comfortable the futures of his stepmother and half-sisters. Ruoff points out that John’s means are far from meager and at 10,000 per year, his annual income is roughly equal to that of Mr. Darcy’s in Pride & Prejudice (355). In her A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, Mary Wollstonecraft materializes Burke’s anticipated situation of the Dashwood women, that girls would become dependent upon their brothers (355). Austen uses this idea in an explicit social setting through John’s promise and his eventual betrayal of that promise. John at first determines to give each sister with 1,000 and illustrates the “good sort of men” Wollstonecraft imagined (355). Austen continues Wollstonecraft’s scenario by including Fanny’s meddling in the situation. Wollstonecraft writes about the wife who is “cold-hearted, narrow-minded” and “displeased at seeing the property of her children lavished on an helpless sister” (355). It is Fanny who subtly convinces John to abandon any sort of financial gifts to his half-sisters. She does this by continual references to her son Henry’s inheritance taking the strain of possible financial gifts given by his father.
Austen uses Fanny as an embodiment of Thomas Paine’s response to Burke in The Rights of Man, where Paine attacks the law of primogenitureship. Paine claims that such a law is a “law against every law of nature, and nature itself calls for its destruction” (356). Paine recognized that such a law allowed the holder of the purse strings to trample on siblings and relations. While John initially represents Burke’s claim of the benevolent aristocracy, Fanny eventually shapes John into a representation of Paine’s critique of the hereditary principle: “that it provides a schooling in self-interest which blinds its adherents to notions of distributive justice” (357).
Money matters a great deal in Jane Austen’s world and in Sense & Sensibility, she responds to the public political discourse of inheritance in the 1790’s. Referring to Chapters I and II, Ruoff notes that Austen’s opening movement is “as stunning a public advent of a new writer as we have ever witnessed” (348). Her masterful response to the writings of Wollstonecraft, Burke and Paine display her knowledge of contemporary texts and her understanding of the political nature of family money matters.

Update

I finally remembered the username/password, so here we are again.
All these security measures are hilarious.
Someone must have tipped off TPTB about all the nuclear secrets to which I have access.
I guess I better sheath my dagger and put away my Secret Agent baseball cap.

Just wanted to mention that I have been using Myspace and Facebook rather than Blogger.
If I post a blog on Myspace I'll try to remember to post it here as well.
Friend me on Myspace and you can see all the evidence of my terribly exciting life.
:)

Since I LOVE the current background photo (from the girly trip to Medieval Times in Dallas the day after Sondra's wedding) and the current color scheme, it shall remain.

Over and out.

Here we are again!

Yikes, that last post is depressing!!
I chalk it up to all that Social Protest lit I was reading at the time.
Read Jude the Obscure and then try to write a happy poem.
It won't work. :)

So it's winter break and I'm planning on graduating with my BA in May.
Commencement is on my birthday, how twisted is that.
I'm going to be like those poor people who have a birthday on Christmas.

I missed the deadline for application to the MA program, so I'm deciding what to do about that. I might register as post-baccalaureate status and take 494 and whatever they'll let me credit towards an MA.
I will start reading the billion novels on the list for my orals.
I am so nervous about that.
I also have to find out if I can test out of the language requirement.
If I can't, I'll probably take Latin.
Per aspera at astra!

Am I the only one who becomes frustrated with the Bible reading charts that start in Genesis and end in Revy?
I just can't get through those.
I need the ones that are spread out, you know, something Old Testament, something New Testament, something borrowed, something blue...
Oh wait, that can't be right...
It's 1:18 am and I'm going to bed.



www.myspace.com/damekathrynthegreat

Curtain

When he came to her in dreams,
when the moon cast its midnight curtain
over the earth,
it was the little things she tried to remember.
The way his big hands
held little hands.
The tilt of his head
and the question in his eyes
when she told him that she was not coming back.
The feel of his fingertips brushing across her cheek.
It was always the same dream.
Always the same.
He was gone when she woke up.
The curtain was drawn back
and the light does not like ghosts.
They only come out at night.
In dreams.

Pains.
Tears.
Cries.
When would the joy come?
This was what she
longed for,
hoped for.
This was what she
longed for,
hoped for?
This wasn’t what she imagined.
He was what she imagined
and he was real.
This was real, too.
More real than him.
But he was gone.
The light was too bright.
She wanted someone to close the curtain.
Then he might come.
Still a dream.